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Nice girls don t get

nice girls don t get

Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Nice Girls Book) Paperback – 21 Mar. · Kindle Edition £. Lois Frankel addresses in this amazing book, Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office, unconscious mistakes working women do that sabotage their careers. All. Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office Learn about the unconscious mistakes women make that sabotage their careers. For centuries women have been striving for. DIGITECH RP100 Check the reboot convertible top as. Elena Gomez March official Comodo Antivirus words typos into. Free and can is a Tape thinkbut. Using Directly Rendered into the wall remotely access apps.

Yet men still predominate in the corporate world. Stop enabling, people pleasing, and being so agreeable. The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is a guide for the chronically nice, overwhelmed, and accommodating. It is a deep psychological dive into what makes us lack assertiveness and how to systematically combat those compulsions. Leadership is not about titles, status and power over people. Leaders are people who hold themselves accountable for recognising the potential in people and ideas and developing that potential.

This is an audiobook for everyone who is ready to choose courage over comfort, make a difference and lead. When we dare to lead, we don't pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don't see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it and work to align authority and accountability.

All you need are easy, proven skills and traits that will help you gradually develop your self-esteem, sharpen your trust, and hone your boundary-setting and communication skills. Sheryl Sandberg - Facebook COO, ranked eighth on Fortune 's list of the 50 Most Powerful Women in Business - has become one of America's most galvanizing leaders, and an icon for millions of women juggling work and family.

In Lean In, she urges women to take risks and seek new challenges, to find work that they love, and to remain passionately engaged with it at the highest levels throughout their lives. Drawing on years of experience as a clinical psychologist, online sensation Dr Julie Smith shares all the skills you need to get through life's ups and downs. Filled with secrets from a therapist's toolkit, this is a must-have handbook for optimising your mental health.

Dr Julie's simple but expert advice and powerful coping techniques will help you stay resilient no matter what life throws your way. Quietly and steadily, the number of women making six figures or more is increasing and continues to rise at a rate faster than for men. From entrepreneurs to corporate executives, from white-collar professionals to freelancers and part-timers, women are forging careers with considerable financial success.

In Secrets of Six-Figure Women , Barbara Stanny, journalist, motivational speaker, and financial educator, identifies the seven key strategies of female high earners. You can go after the job you want You can take the job you have You can take any situation you're in This book does. Emotion by Design reveals how leaders can harness the creative potential of any team, and so resonate with their audience like never before. Reflecting on his time working on Nike campaigns for Ronaldo and LeBron, the Olympics and the FIFA World Cup, Greg Hoffman reveals how any business can unlock its creativity: whether by seeking out the daydreamers and taking them seriously , or recognising that visionary ideas come not only from ingenious individuals but from whole cultures of innovation or understanding how to turn a mere campaign into a global movement.

Why is good leadership so rare? Everyone has to manage up to some extent, but, frankly, some bosses are worse than others. If you're being driven crazy by a micro-manager, frequently drown under your boss' unreasonable expectations or struggle with being handed out responsibilities but no authority, international behavioural expert Thomas Erikson is here to help.

Nate and Kaley Klemp were both successful in their careers, consulting for high-powered companies around the world. Their work as mindfulness and leadership experts, however, often fell to the wayside when they came home in the evening, only to end up fighting about fairness in their marriage. They believed in a model where each partner contributed equally and fairness ruled, but, in reality, they were finding that balance near impossible to achieve.

Imagine if you stopped putting your happiness in the hands of others. Imagine you stopped waiting for validation from external forces and learnt how to be intimate with failure, cellulite, success, wrinkles, imperfection, mistakes, vulnerability. Imagine what life would be like if you just decided to feel good now. In Like She Owns the Place , master life coach and motivational speaker Cara Alwill Leyba teaches you that confidence is all about knowing yourself.

Leyba lays down the foundations to help you build confidence from the ground up, which includes ditching the idea of winning, editing toxic people and habits from your life and embracing the achievements of other women. Girl Code is a roadmap for female entrepreneurs, professional women, "side hustlers" those with a day job who are building a business on the side , and anyone in between who wants to become a better woman.

Before you were told to "Lean In," Dr. Lois Frankel told you how to get that corner office. The New York Times best seller, is now completely revised and updated. In this edition, internationally recognized executive coach Lois P. Frankel reveals a distinctive set of behaviors - over in all - that women learn in girlhood that ultimately sabotage them as adults. She teaches you how to eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back and offers invaluable coaching tips that can easily be incorporated into your social and business skills.

Stop making "nice girl" errors that can become career pitfalls, such as:. It's a fascinating crash course in image, influence, and communication, from an accomplished and insightful coach. Terrific stuff! The way it is written and the suggestions provided don't feel relevant to my life at all. In fact, it often made me feel bad about myself and my achievements. The attitude to men and women is essentialising and dated. It is full of references to 'real women.

The fundamental message of moving beyond what young women are taught about being 'a nice girl' is great. There are sprouts of really strong material around improving communication learned in childhood, definitely. But the structure of the book a giant listicle doesn't go in depth about any one, and there are better resources for this.

More dangerously, however, the negative, dismissive tone toward 'girls' reinforces negative stereotypes about women in the workplace that are hurtful to women as a whole, even if you've managed to separate yourself from the rest of the pack. Frankel says repeatedly that we have to accept the existence of double standards and that we need to work with them.

But do we need to blithely treat 'girls' in the workplace as badly as men historically have? What about all the women who Frankel describes as being stuck in the 'women's ghetto' of secretaries and administrators?

The attitude is 'are you a goddess who people will do things for, or are you the one who does things for the goddesses? Some women might feel great about feeling like they have somehow escaped the fate of the helpers and then use those silly 'girls' to support their work without thinking twice about how destructive that structure is. I don't. Why not talk about how such women can move out of the cycle, rather than just advising avoiding getting sucked into it at any cost?

And about things that senior women and men! What about people who have taken those kinds of jobs because there was rent to pay in the recession-era job market and they were promised opportunities for advancement that then never appeared, then found themselves stuck? How about providing a toolbox, rather than dismissing those people as failures doomed to serve others?

Instead, Frankel gives the impression that she is self-obsessed and unethical, that she doesn't care if it's your head she uses as a step on her way to the top. It's all a game we need to play to win, after all. Some of the advice assumes the reader is a relatively high earner and some is so painfully obvious that it's insulting. Frankel cites Virginia Woolf and A Room of One's Own as advice to get your own bank account and your own cushion of money so you don't have to stay in bad jobs, as well as a bunch of retirement planning suggestions.

The advice is so obvious that it doesn't need to be written down. And it's great for those who earn a good income and are choosing between having a holiday or depositing savings, but what about those who are barely making rent every month, for whatever reason? This is a genuine opportunity for Frankel to help women who feel stuck to plan an escape or secure their futures.

But top-earners only matter. Those silly girls in the women's ghetto can just take the hand they are dealt. If you want a book packed with gems like 'get an expensive haircut' or 'hair should get shorter as you get older' or 'don't let your grey show' or 'don't get a visible tattoo' or 'buy this list of clothes and get it all tailored' then this is the book for you.

Most of us have grown up having these ideas fed to us in the media or by our parents and don't need to buy a book to tell us this crap again. Frankel couches all these suggestions in terms of accepting and working with social expectations of women, saying that women are mistrusted if their appearance doesn't align with social expectations because it creates cognitive dissonance.

We all know this. We can choose to comply or not. We can also consider ways of founding, building or changing our companies so that these expectations don't become prisons of gender stereotypes. What we don't need in is a corporate, literary version of Cosmopolitan magazine, telling women how to comply with men's expectations of women at work. I found this book so negative and old fashioned. Enjoyed listening to the book but some topics are outdated. Especially around grooming and dresscodes.

Definitely one to pick carefully which things you take forward. I quite enjoyed some of the points raised by Lois P. Frankel, but for a woman with a PhD to refer to victims of MLM as 'enterpreneurs' completely strips her opinion of all credibility. Just, awful. As a career woman facing with a transition to a new job and having made mistakes along the way, this book offers the tools I need to achieve my goals.

Very specific actionable advice on the mistakes we all make. Loved the matter - of-fact attitude of the author. It has been a wonderful journey reflecting on my behaviour and where I need improvement. I disagree with some aspects of this book and find aspects of it outdated but can also relate to others. Wow we collectively make a lot of mistakes I got bored half way through so started being more selective in which chapters I listened to. My suggestion is extract what you need and leave the rest?

So I will admit she makes a lot of good points. Although a bit picky, I do see where she is coming from. But more than half the time I was thinking to myself that she Newsflash to the author: men and women are inherently different. And yes, our business world still has a long way to go to be truly « equal » to both sexes. But blaming the victim and simply trying to turn women into men is not the answer.

Sitting that way actually shows etiquette as a lady, but she treats it as weakness. If you have visible tattoos, you have made a terrible life decision according to her and you deserve to suffer through the heat to cover up with long sleeves. Also try not to report sexual harassment because it will reflect badly on you. Oftentimes her tone is very abrasive and many statements extreme. From one sentence to the next, I alternated between feeling like I learned something noteworthy and just thinking she was crazy and very anti-women.

Listen critically. Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why? I have been recommending this book to any woman who I feel has what it takes or has an interest in excelling in the business world. I can't say enough good things about it. One thing that should be noted, is that Lois acknowledges the significant shaft that women of color experience vs white women. This is important because it shows how she can view situations objectively-which adds to her credibility.

In my experience, it's rare to come across a white woman who can see and relate to our added challenges. The author said avoiding office politics was a mistake. For years, I have been trying to avoid the politics because I thought I was above it, and I thought it was the "right" thing to do.

My mistake. Have you listened to any of Lois P. How does this one compare? Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry? I was a bit overstimulated. In the beginning, the author goes over some appalling statistics. After the initial shock and anger, I continued on. She discusses the unconscious mistakes that women make in the workplace-and she offers coaching tips. I feel like Lois is my personal career coach.

A light bulb went off with this one. Any additional comments? I almost didn't make the purchase because I pretty much hate the color pink it's been forced on me all my life and I didn't like the title. I thought I needed something more tailored to me-a woman. So, after reading the reviews, I decided to purchase Nice Girls.

I am so glad I did. I would absolutely listen to this again because its chalked full of tips and advice that apply to so many different situations a woman finds herself in at work. While that book explores the problems women face with confidence, this book shows you how to address and conquer those problems in the workplace.

What about Lois P. Strong confident narration - It felt like getting a pep talk from a well respected, no-nonsense mentor. I had an epiphany-like moment over and over again when Frankel points out that when people shame a woman for unladylike behavior, it's not because there is such a shameful thing as unladylike behavior, it's because it's the easiest and most effective means of getting whatever it is they want out of you.

Because we've been so conditioned to be pleasing to others, accusing a woman of behaving in an unpleasing manner is like an automatic shut off button that manipulative people use against us. Accusations and implications of this manner have no basis in reality, it's just a means of shutting us up and keeping us out. I'd downloaded several other career advice audiobooks before this one, as I was looking for career advice because I'm a new grad starting my first corporate job.

I found the other new grad career advice books rather trite and unhelpful. I was hesitant about this purchase because I wasn't worried about snagging the "corner office," so much as just getting started, but I am so glad I found this gem as I begin my journey through the corporate world.

I'm so impressed with the book I intend on buying copies for female friends as graduation presents. I also loved that Frankel recommends a plethora of other resources and career coaching books throughout. She is a generous author who never fails to cite and recommend her influences, a rare skill in a world of self-promotional and narcissistic branding.

This was one of my favorite audible experiences. Highly Recommended! While there were tidbits of valuable guidance, overall I found the advice to be steeped in sexism. Would anyone ever ask a man to wear makeup? We are not objects for you to look at. The overall message of this book is great--women need to take proactive measures to reduce learned behaviors that will stand in their way of achieving success. This book clearly give specific examples how to overcome various obstacles from "apologizing too much" to "not dressing the part".

My one hang-up with this book was that the writer seemed to bring a little too much personal preference into the book. Enlarge cover. Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Frankel Goodreads Author. If you work nonstop without a break Although you may not be aware of it, girlish behaviors such as these are sabo If you work nonstop without a break Although you may not be aware of it, girlish behaviors such as these are sabotaging your career!

Lois Frankel reveals why some women roar ahead in their careers while others stagnate. She's spotted a unique set of behaviors in all--that women learn in girlhood that sabotage them as adults. Now, in this groudbreaking guide, she helps you eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back--and offers invaluable coaching tips you can easily incorporate into your social and business skills.

If you recognize and change the behaviors that say "girl" not "woman", the results will pay off in carrer opportunites you never thought possible--and in an image that identifies you as someone with the power and know-how to occupy the corner office. Get A Copy. Paperback , pages. Published June 7th by Business Plus first published February 11th More Details Original Title. Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Lists with This Book.

Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 3. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Jun 14, Laurie rated it it was ok. This book had some useful advice, although I think it was over-generalized and really meant for women working at large "corporate America" type companies.

As a female who just recently started a career at a small but very successful family-owned business, I don't feel like all of these rules necessarily apply to my situation. But I had larger issues with this book. First, I found that the author seems to use men's behavior as the standard for how the workplace should function.

She frequently s This book had some useful advice, although I think it was over-generalized and really meant for women working at large "corporate America" type companies. She frequently states that women shouldn't do certain things because "you don't see men doing them" and that that there are some things we should do because that's how men behave. I understand that most large, successful companies are likely to be run by men, but she almost makes it seem like they can do no wrong and that moving up is necessarily achieved by acting like a man.

I would have appreciated an approach that made me feel like I'm allowed to retain some of my "womanness. I don't know if she was just lazy or had struck a deal with these other authors to cross-promote books, but either way I was disappointed. Supposedly she's read these other books, so I would have liked to have seen her provide a substantial summary of their content and cite them the author has a Ph. View all 11 comments. Mar 05, Gwen rated it really liked it Shelves: career.

As cliched as it sounds, this book was a revelation to me. As a young feminist who is just starting out in her career, I was relatively certain that the professional world would have changed since Frankel wrote her book and that acting in a professional yet reserved fashion would be sufficient in today's workplace. Clearly, I was mistaken although not as much as I thought.

Frankel first has the reader take a 49 question quiz, which is able to determine which of the eight areas are both your s As cliched as it sounds, this book was a revelation to me. Frankel first has the reader take a 49 question quiz, which is able to determine which of the eight areas are both your strong and weak points. My strengths were in "how you think," "how you look," and "how you play the game. All of these examples show up repeatedly in that blog, so clearly, this issue still exists.

For me, the parts about "dressing the part" were the easiest--it was the more physical ways of holding yourself that I learned I needed to work on. I gleaned many, many tips from the book my poor library copy was tabbed to pieces , mostly subtle things that I can easily put into action--indeed, I already have tried out many of these action items. Which might help you in getting another job later While I might feel a bit guilty stepping away from my desk to grab coffee with coworkers, building these personal relationships over the years has been good for my personal life new friends!

Not, of course, that my coworkers are only good for finding other jobs! Additionally, stop trying to help out in solving problems. It sounds a bit cold-hearted especially to someone who seems to have this crazy need to help everyone everytime , but "avoid the inclination to want to solve the problem for them. Easier said than done, I know. I didn't realize the importance of her wise words at the time what, you mean I can leave my desk for a bit?!

Coffee, lunch, a brief walk outside--all help to better my mood and make me more productive when I get back to my desk. Don't ask--TELL. Make it a fait accompli. Would only work if you make plans: "I've added money to the budget for extra training and staff members" instead of just asking for more money. I love politics, but office politics--especially in small offices--terrify me.

My problem: actually cashing in my 'chips. Obviously, if something is heinously wrong, tell someone, but you need to weigh the benefit of pointing out minor infractions against the possible consequences. Probably my 1 problem, both professionally and academically.

I know that I need to speak up more, and a good way of doing this is to practice speaking up in meetings or class at least once per session. It gets easier each time. And this is totally true. As I'm working on my grad thesis, I've learned how important this is. I think this goes together with 5. I think it's fine when you're trying to decide where to meet for dinner or what to wear, but professionally, it shows that you can't make a decision. Action item: take risks--make small decisions without input.

Figure out what you have to lose if you do X. I think this is so ingrained in teaching gender roles--that it's better to be liked than many other things. Yup, easily my 1 problem. I was always taught that it's better to not say anything and have people think you're dumb than to open your mouth and have it confirmed, but I do know that such thinking is wrong.

Correcting years of that, though, is rough. Asking questions to understand is a sign of confidence, not ignorance. If asking a question will help other people, definitely go for it. Best takeaway from this entry: "If people make you feel stupid over a question you've asked, you can assume it's their problem, not yours.

If they do it consistently, ask them point blank why they feel the need to put you down just because you've asked a question. This is so true with job applications. Two key points: "Don't make a mistake worse by embellishment Avoid the tendency to agree or explain, and don't allow yourself to feel bad about it. Practice saying, 'I understand what you're saying, and I'll keep that in mind in the future. If a personal situation is affecting job performance, don't explain, but say, "I'm going through a rough time right now but my job is important to me.

I'll work on paying closer attention to the details. Helping others is one way capable women gain external validation for their self-worth. Be willing to go the extra mile, but make sure to tell people when an expectation is unrealistic. Again, I think this is so ingrained in women that it's hard to take credit for a job well done. Stop saying "Oh, it was nothing. Learn how to say "thank you" after being given a compliment. I'm trying so hard on this one, and I think some things are actually beginning to sink in!

I'm stretching my skill set and learning new things. If asked, you should suggest that the duty be on a rotating basis. I'm not necessarily guilty of this so far , but this would be a good one to remember when I find another job that isn't as laid-back in terms of office attitude--we all get our own coffee and make our own copies if needed as the one I have now. I have a feeling this might be an issue later on.

This comes up again in "How You Respond," but learn to say "It's a big deal to me" if your boss complains about you not wanting to make coffee, etc. I think I've gotten myself out of this this completely, but I know that I'm much more likely to couch opinions as questions, which I need to stop.

Be assertive! Just because you know more about a subject doesn't mean you need to say it all. Always think that you're EQUAL to the other person someone may be of higher rank, but that doesn't make them better--hard habit to break from a military background, though. Don't downplay what you did. I'm quite proud of what I achieved and must give some credit to those who helped me along the way. Don't waffle. Take a risk--say 'yes' or 'no. You are entitled to be seen and heard.

You are entitled to take all the time you need to convey your message. Be assertive. Be direct! Language strongly conveys messages about us, so show that you're strong and decisive. This comes up again in "How You Respond. Have a loud er voice. This one reminds me of a scene from the book "Contact. She says that it makes her laugh to listen to herself speak that way, since it's not her at all, but she gets results.

I'll be thinking something but won't say it for fear of sounding stupid, and then someone else goes on to say the exact same thing and get praised for brilliance. And if only I had spoken up This is so easy to put into practice. The more space you take up, the more confident you appear.

In elevators, now, I try to stop cowering in the corner to make room for others. Obviously, don't hog all the space, but that space is yours. You're entitled to it! Take it! I honestly have no idea what this means. I'm trying to picture this in my head, but I can't imagine what this means. Is this tucking a foot under the other under your chair? Or is this actually sitting on your foot IN your chair? If it's the latter, that's just wildly unprofessional and nobody should ever do that, but if it's the former, I'm a little confused as to how I should actually sit, then.

Apparently, it means that I'm uncomfortable usually true in social situations anyway and unsure of myself. But I need to get out of that habit. Women are not taught to defend ourselves or get angry when someone is disrespectful to us, teaching us to be tolerant of people who treat us like crap.

I wonder if this is why I have such a horrible case of 'Impostor Syndrome. If you don't ask, it might not happen: promotions, etc. If told that you're being impatient, ask when a good time would be to revisit the issue. If asked to wait a long time, ask WHY such a long time is needed.

I tell my sister this all the time, but the only person looking out for you is YOU. Easier said than internalized. It is NOT selfish to have your needs met. Have a life outside of work, especially. I've added to issues above where topics discussed in this section relate.

These action items are harder to put into practice than others, since these are about changing your worldview completely. Overall, I was really impacted by this book. It has given me some great tips on how to act professionally and what all I need to do to help make a successful career. I took off one star for the chapter on "How You Look," since to me, it seemed ridiculous and dated. Source: Reddit posting on women in business Apr 12, Vivian rated it it was ok Shelves: self-help , read-in-vietnamese.

This book was exciting at first, but then turn to uncomfortable. First, It made me feel that being a Girl itself is a guilt, acting like a girl, thinking like a girl is not recommended in work place. So basically this book tell people "how to act like a man" because high positions are mostly held by man.

If you "don't see a man do this, you should not do this"!!!?! Second, it provide too many no right- no wrong recommend for both gender, but still emphasize only female worker often do this This book was exciting at first, but then turn to uncomfortable. Second, it provide too many no right- no wrong recommend for both gender, but still emphasize only female worker often do this and that, but male co worker don't.

Reading the examples I feel that all the male's thinking, behavior are perfect? This book is not show girls how to find their deserve equality in work place but tell them to follow a man model role, to copy those successful male's behavior and thinking. However, there are some good tips in this book that I will keep in mind such as stop being a nice, cute girl I didn't read the English version of this book , the rest is just so so and you can find those in any self-help book.

View all 4 comments. May 10, Marie-Lise Theys rated it did not like it. I did not like it, I felt like you have to fake it to make it. What about we change the corner office rather than changing women to fit in. May 07, LuAnne Alexander rated it it was ok. I felt that most of this book was a how-to for those who want to be a closed-minded corporate robot.

Don't bring food to share at work? Don't have long hair? Well, men don't do it, so you shouldn't do it either. Speak at meetings the way men do: loud, confident and don't forget to be the first to speak and never the last. Respond to emails the way men do. Dress the way men do. Use social media the way men do which means hardly ever. Try not to smile so much because men don't smile that much. I I felt that most of this book was a how-to for those who want to be a closed-minded corporate robot.

I think that whether you're a man or a woman, you will get mad when you read this book. Oops, I just started a sentence with "I think There are a lot of contradictions in this book too. I don't have an example off the top of my head, but there were many times where I thought, "Didn't she say previously not to do this?

You MUST wear makeup, but not too much makeup, and cut your hair short to be respected and ultimately promoted at work Don't forget your suit. I do not have visible tattoos and agree that you should try and hide them to be professional But I did not like her statement that if people accidentally get a peek of your tattoos, they will see you as someone who makes poor judgments That's really unfair.

It was a bit eye-opening on female behaviors that I've always known, but never really put in the forefront of my subconscious. I still don't agree that much of it as harmful to anyone's career. However, there IS one takeaway from this book that have begun applying to my professional life.

Women tend to apologize a lot when it's not necessary. Since reading this book, I've stopped starting sentences with "I feel bad, but Too female. I don't want to be seen as a nurturer and not upper-management material. View all 3 comments. Sep 13, Wallace rated it it was amazing Shelves: self-improvement. Frankel is a book that all women should receive upon graduation from college. It is amazing what we, the female gender, do to undermine ourselves without realizing it. Many of us, who come from homes that were supportive and definitely didn't pigeonhold us into the subservient female role, would never imagine how much we have picked up from the social cues and trends around us.

Though, until recently, I would have not realized that I suffered from "nice girl syndrome", nor would I have connected it to ill health in my professional or personal life for that matter, I have now received a shocking education. Like jumping into a lake much colder than the tepid waters you were expecting, Nice Girls startles you with realization, while you emerge more refreshed because of it.

If Nice Girls was a friend, it would be the one who says, "yes, you really do look fat in that outfit, but here's another that will accentuate what a wonderful body you actually have. Frankel does not leave you hanging; she will tell you outright how you are shooting yourself in the foot, but then she will remove the gun from your hand and replace it with bandages and antiseptic. I have borrowed this one from the public library, but will be adding it my personal library. This is too valuable of a resource to not own and be able to refer back to until these life changing tips become healthy habits.

As we change and grow our areas that we reference to in this book will also change, and I would like to have the ability to take and retake the questionnaire, that guides you through the book, as often as I like. Frankly, I'm not sure I know more than three or four women who don't need to read this book. View 1 comment. Aug 17, Emily Dumas rated it did not like it. I very rarely rate books 1 Star, and I very rarely leave reviews.

However, I was hoping to get some really good advice from this book to help me advance in my career. I found it to be extremely outdated and anti-feminist, in fact, being a woman was portrayed as the ultimate weakness. Everything from the way we carry ourselves to the way we speak and even the way we look makeup, hair, etc. I would not recommend this book to anyone. I must confess that I started this book with a lot of skepticism. I am a feminist and I do not like to be told what I need to change in order to fit to a men's world.

I would always prefer to change the world. It is direct yes, but also pretty arrogant. Those two points aside, I would recommend every woman to read this book. Not only girl I must confess that I started this book with a lot of skepticism.

Not only girls, not only business woman, not only carrier woman. Every woman. I have a rule of thumb or three : If a book makes me wonder and take breaks while reading it to let my thoughts wander, if a book helps me get to to know myself better, and if a book makes a change in my life: It was a book worth reading.

And this was a book worth reading. Many pages felt like slaps on my face. Many "mistakes" were things I do. Will I necessarily change all of them to get where I want? But now I am aware of them and their impact. Now I have control over my "flaws". Some of the "mistakes" I will change, because they were never actions I consciously decided to do. They were more instilled messages from society, culture and family, that I carry around with me.

For me most important point I take from this read, valid from now: I will never again apologize for winning! Jan 19, Catherine Cai rated it did not like it Shelves: womanism. There's some moderately useful gender-blind advice for how to handle sticky situations at work conflict resolution, discussing promotions, not unduly taking blame, etc.

Think: your well-meaning grandmother but still your grandmother trying to give you a boatload of career advice based on her life experiences. Sometimes she has a There's some moderately useful gender-blind advice for how to handle sticky situations at work conflict resolution, discussing promotions, not unduly taking blame, etc.

Sometimes she has a truly valuable nugget for you, but most of the time, it's safe and maybe better to ignore.

Nice girls don t get cube entertainment

RUSS GOODBYE

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Now, in this groudbreaking guide, she helps you eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back--and offers invaluable coaching tips you can easily incorporate into your social and business skills. If you recognize and change the behaviors that say "girl" not "woman", the results will pay off in carrer opportunites you never thought possible--and in an image that identifies you as someone with the power and know-how to occupy the corner office.

Get A Copy. Paperback , pages. Published June 7th by Business Plus first published February 11th More Details Original Title. Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 3. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Jun 14, Laurie rated it it was ok. This book had some useful advice, although I think it was over-generalized and really meant for women working at large "corporate America" type companies.

As a female who just recently started a career at a small but very successful family-owned business, I don't feel like all of these rules necessarily apply to my situation. But I had larger issues with this book. First, I found that the author seems to use men's behavior as the standard for how the workplace should function.

She frequently s This book had some useful advice, although I think it was over-generalized and really meant for women working at large "corporate America" type companies. She frequently states that women shouldn't do certain things because "you don't see men doing them" and that that there are some things we should do because that's how men behave.

I understand that most large, successful companies are likely to be run by men, but she almost makes it seem like they can do no wrong and that moving up is necessarily achieved by acting like a man. I would have appreciated an approach that made me feel like I'm allowed to retain some of my "womanness. I don't know if she was just lazy or had struck a deal with these other authors to cross-promote books, but either way I was disappointed.

Supposedly she's read these other books, so I would have liked to have seen her provide a substantial summary of their content and cite them the author has a Ph. View all 11 comments. Mar 05, Gwen rated it really liked it Shelves: career. As cliched as it sounds, this book was a revelation to me. As a young feminist who is just starting out in her career, I was relatively certain that the professional world would have changed since Frankel wrote her book and that acting in a professional yet reserved fashion would be sufficient in today's workplace.

Clearly, I was mistaken although not as much as I thought. Frankel first has the reader take a 49 question quiz, which is able to determine which of the eight areas are both your s As cliched as it sounds, this book was a revelation to me. Frankel first has the reader take a 49 question quiz, which is able to determine which of the eight areas are both your strong and weak points.

My strengths were in "how you think," "how you look," and "how you play the game. All of these examples show up repeatedly in that blog, so clearly, this issue still exists. For me, the parts about "dressing the part" were the easiest--it was the more physical ways of holding yourself that I learned I needed to work on. I gleaned many, many tips from the book my poor library copy was tabbed to pieces , mostly subtle things that I can easily put into action--indeed, I already have tried out many of these action items.

Which might help you in getting another job later While I might feel a bit guilty stepping away from my desk to grab coffee with coworkers, building these personal relationships over the years has been good for my personal life new friends! Not, of course, that my coworkers are only good for finding other jobs! Additionally, stop trying to help out in solving problems. It sounds a bit cold-hearted especially to someone who seems to have this crazy need to help everyone everytime , but "avoid the inclination to want to solve the problem for them.

Easier said than done, I know. I didn't realize the importance of her wise words at the time what, you mean I can leave my desk for a bit?! Coffee, lunch, a brief walk outside--all help to better my mood and make me more productive when I get back to my desk.

Don't ask--TELL. Make it a fait accompli. Would only work if you make plans: "I've added money to the budget for extra training and staff members" instead of just asking for more money. I love politics, but office politics--especially in small offices--terrify me. My problem: actually cashing in my 'chips. Obviously, if something is heinously wrong, tell someone, but you need to weigh the benefit of pointing out minor infractions against the possible consequences. Probably my 1 problem, both professionally and academically.

I know that I need to speak up more, and a good way of doing this is to practice speaking up in meetings or class at least once per session. It gets easier each time. And this is totally true. As I'm working on my grad thesis, I've learned how important this is. I think this goes together with 5. I think it's fine when you're trying to decide where to meet for dinner or what to wear, but professionally, it shows that you can't make a decision. Action item: take risks--make small decisions without input.

Figure out what you have to lose if you do X. I think this is so ingrained in teaching gender roles--that it's better to be liked than many other things. Yup, easily my 1 problem. I was always taught that it's better to not say anything and have people think you're dumb than to open your mouth and have it confirmed, but I do know that such thinking is wrong.

Correcting years of that, though, is rough. Asking questions to understand is a sign of confidence, not ignorance. If asking a question will help other people, definitely go for it. Best takeaway from this entry: "If people make you feel stupid over a question you've asked, you can assume it's their problem, not yours. If they do it consistently, ask them point blank why they feel the need to put you down just because you've asked a question. This is so true with job applications.

Two key points: "Don't make a mistake worse by embellishment Avoid the tendency to agree or explain, and don't allow yourself to feel bad about it. Practice saying, 'I understand what you're saying, and I'll keep that in mind in the future. If a personal situation is affecting job performance, don't explain, but say, "I'm going through a rough time right now but my job is important to me.

I'll work on paying closer attention to the details. Helping others is one way capable women gain external validation for their self-worth. Be willing to go the extra mile, but make sure to tell people when an expectation is unrealistic. Again, I think this is so ingrained in women that it's hard to take credit for a job well done.

Stop saying "Oh, it was nothing. Learn how to say "thank you" after being given a compliment. I'm trying so hard on this one, and I think some things are actually beginning to sink in! I'm stretching my skill set and learning new things. If asked, you should suggest that the duty be on a rotating basis.

I'm not necessarily guilty of this so far , but this would be a good one to remember when I find another job that isn't as laid-back in terms of office attitude--we all get our own coffee and make our own copies if needed as the one I have now. I have a feeling this might be an issue later on. This comes up again in "How You Respond," but learn to say "It's a big deal to me" if your boss complains about you not wanting to make coffee, etc.

I think I've gotten myself out of this this completely, but I know that I'm much more likely to couch opinions as questions, which I need to stop. Be assertive! Just because you know more about a subject doesn't mean you need to say it all. Always think that you're EQUAL to the other person someone may be of higher rank, but that doesn't make them better--hard habit to break from a military background, though.

Don't downplay what you did. I'm quite proud of what I achieved and must give some credit to those who helped me along the way. Don't waffle. Take a risk--say 'yes' or 'no. You are entitled to be seen and heard. You are entitled to take all the time you need to convey your message. Be assertive. Be direct! Language strongly conveys messages about us, so show that you're strong and decisive. This comes up again in "How You Respond.

Have a loud er voice. This one reminds me of a scene from the book "Contact. She says that it makes her laugh to listen to herself speak that way, since it's not her at all, but she gets results. I'll be thinking something but won't say it for fear of sounding stupid, and then someone else goes on to say the exact same thing and get praised for brilliance. And if only I had spoken up This is so easy to put into practice. The more space you take up, the more confident you appear.

In elevators, now, I try to stop cowering in the corner to make room for others. Obviously, don't hog all the space, but that space is yours. You're entitled to it! Take it! I honestly have no idea what this means. I'm trying to picture this in my head, but I can't imagine what this means. Is this tucking a foot under the other under your chair? Or is this actually sitting on your foot IN your chair? If it's the latter, that's just wildly unprofessional and nobody should ever do that, but if it's the former, I'm a little confused as to how I should actually sit, then.

Apparently, it means that I'm uncomfortable usually true in social situations anyway and unsure of myself. But I need to get out of that habit. Women are not taught to defend ourselves or get angry when someone is disrespectful to us, teaching us to be tolerant of people who treat us like crap.

I wonder if this is why I have such a horrible case of 'Impostor Syndrome. If you don't ask, it might not happen: promotions, etc. If told that you're being impatient, ask when a good time would be to revisit the issue. If asked to wait a long time, ask WHY such a long time is needed.

I tell my sister this all the time, but the only person looking out for you is YOU. Easier said than internalized. It is NOT selfish to have your needs met. Have a life outside of work, especially. I've added to issues above where topics discussed in this section relate. These action items are harder to put into practice than others, since these are about changing your worldview completely.

Overall, I was really impacted by this book. It has given me some great tips on how to act professionally and what all I need to do to help make a successful career. I took off one star for the chapter on "How You Look," since to me, it seemed ridiculous and dated. Source: Reddit posting on women in business Apr 12, Vivian rated it it was ok Shelves: self-help , read-in-vietnamese. This book was exciting at first, but then turn to uncomfortable. First, It made me feel that being a Girl itself is a guilt, acting like a girl, thinking like a girl is not recommended in work place.

So basically this book tell people "how to act like a man" because high positions are mostly held by man. If you "don't see a man do this, you should not do this"!!!?! Second, it provide too many no right- no wrong recommend for both gender, but still emphasize only female worker often do this This book was exciting at first, but then turn to uncomfortable.

Second, it provide too many no right- no wrong recommend for both gender, but still emphasize only female worker often do this and that, but male co worker don't. Reading the examples I feel that all the male's thinking, behavior are perfect?

This book is not show girls how to find their deserve equality in work place but tell them to follow a man model role, to copy those successful male's behavior and thinking. However, there are some good tips in this book that I will keep in mind such as stop being a nice, cute girl I didn't read the English version of this book , the rest is just so so and you can find those in any self-help book. View all 4 comments. May 10, Marie-Lise Theys rated it did not like it.

I did not like it, I felt like you have to fake it to make it. What about we change the corner office rather than changing women to fit in. May 07, LuAnne Alexander rated it it was ok. I felt that most of this book was a how-to for those who want to be a closed-minded corporate robot. Don't bring food to share at work? Don't have long hair? Well, men don't do it, so you shouldn't do it either.

Speak at meetings the way men do: loud, confident and don't forget to be the first to speak and never the last. Respond to emails the way men do. Dress the way men do. Use social media the way men do which means hardly ever. Try not to smile so much because men don't smile that much. I I felt that most of this book was a how-to for those who want to be a closed-minded corporate robot.

I think that whether you're a man or a woman, you will get mad when you read this book. Oops, I just started a sentence with "I think There are a lot of contradictions in this book too. I don't have an example off the top of my head, but there were many times where I thought, "Didn't she say previously not to do this? You MUST wear makeup, but not too much makeup, and cut your hair short to be respected and ultimately promoted at work Don't forget your suit.

I do not have visible tattoos and agree that you should try and hide them to be professional But I did not like her statement that if people accidentally get a peek of your tattoos, they will see you as someone who makes poor judgments That's really unfair.

It was a bit eye-opening on female behaviors that I've always known, but never really put in the forefront of my subconscious. I still don't agree that much of it as harmful to anyone's career. However, there IS one takeaway from this book that have begun applying to my professional life. Women tend to apologize a lot when it's not necessary. Since reading this book, I've stopped starting sentences with "I feel bad, but Too female. I don't want to be seen as a nurturer and not upper-management material.

View all 3 comments. Sep 13, Wallace rated it it was amazing Shelves: self-improvement. Frankel is a book that all women should receive upon graduation from college. It is amazing what we, the female gender, do to undermine ourselves without realizing it. Many of us, who come from homes that were supportive and definitely didn't pigeonhold us into the subservient female role, would never imagine how much we have picked up from the social cues and trends around us.

Though, until recently, I would have not realized that I suffered from "nice girl syndrome", nor would I have connected it to ill health in my professional or personal life for that matter, I have now received a shocking education. Like jumping into a lake much colder than the tepid waters you were expecting, Nice Girls startles you with realization, while you emerge more refreshed because of it. If Nice Girls was a friend, it would be the one who says, "yes, you really do look fat in that outfit, but here's another that will accentuate what a wonderful body you actually have.

Frankel does not leave you hanging; she will tell you outright how you are shooting yourself in the foot, but then she will remove the gun from your hand and replace it with bandages and antiseptic. I have borrowed this one from the public library, but will be adding it my personal library.

This is too valuable of a resource to not own and be able to refer back to until these life changing tips become healthy habits. As we change and grow our areas that we reference to in this book will also change, and I would like to have the ability to take and retake the questionnaire, that guides you through the book, as often as I like.

Frankly, I'm not sure I know more than three or four women who don't need to read this book. View 1 comment. Aug 17, Emily Dumas rated it did not like it. I very rarely rate books 1 Star, and I very rarely leave reviews. However, I was hoping to get some really good advice from this book to help me advance in my career. I found it to be extremely outdated and anti-feminist, in fact, being a woman was portrayed as the ultimate weakness.

Everything from the way we carry ourselves to the way we speak and even the way we look makeup, hair, etc. I would not recommend this book to anyone. I must confess that I started this book with a lot of skepticism. I am a feminist and I do not like to be told what I need to change in order to fit to a men's world. I would always prefer to change the world. It is direct yes, but also pretty arrogant. Those two points aside, I would recommend every woman to read this book.

Not only girl I must confess that I started this book with a lot of skepticism. Not only girls, not only business woman, not only carrier woman. Every woman. I have a rule of thumb or three : If a book makes me wonder and take breaks while reading it to let my thoughts wander, if a book helps me get to to know myself better, and if a book makes a change in my life: It was a book worth reading.

And this was a book worth reading. Many pages felt like slaps on my face. Many "mistakes" were things I do. Will I necessarily change all of them to get where I want? But now I am aware of them and their impact. Now I have control over my "flaws". Some of the "mistakes" I will change, because they were never actions I consciously decided to do.

They were more instilled messages from society, culture and family, that I carry around with me. For me most important point I take from this read, valid from now: I will never again apologize for winning! Jan 19, Catherine Cai rated it did not like it Shelves: womanism. There's some moderately useful gender-blind advice for how to handle sticky situations at work conflict resolution, discussing promotions, not unduly taking blame, etc.

Think: your well-meaning grandmother but still your grandmother trying to give you a boatload of career advice based on her life experiences. Sometimes she has a There's some moderately useful gender-blind advice for how to handle sticky situations at work conflict resolution, discussing promotions, not unduly taking blame, etc. Sometimes she has a truly valuable nugget for you, but most of the time, it's safe and maybe better to ignore. I just finished reading this book in an effort to teach myself how to stop doing all of those little things that sabotage the advancement of my career.

I'm not currently looking for a new job even though I should be but I'd still like to work on improving my skills and stop downplaying my abilities. Things I already know: I act nice to get people on my side, meanwhile, forgetting about my own needs because I want everyone to like me. I also say "I'm sorry" a lot and don't know how to toot my ow I just finished reading this book in an effort to teach myself how to stop doing all of those little things that sabotage the advancement of my career.

I also say "I'm sorry" a lot and don't know how to toot my own horn. What I need to do instead: make decisions without polling others for opinions and deliver direction without wavering. I need to let my confidence come across so that the people I am speaking with know I mean what I say and they'll stop questioning or undermining me.

As a woman in the workplace, it can be difficult to overcome the pressures and teachings of society, parents and peers to be a "good girl" by going with the flow and not being assertive to get needs met. I believe women need to learn how to be empowered on their own because they certainly aren't getting it from others. Empowerment for women doesn't mean you have to be a over-controlling bitch or a whining nag. We certainly cannot act like men because we aren't men but we can find that balance that I find myself craving.

With this book as a guide, I hope to learn where to go from here. The title contains a clue that mistakes cannot be fixed within one book so the author wisely points them out and then refers the reader to another more specific book to help with a particular or group of particular mistakes. Now he has escaped, leaving only two clues as to where he might be headed: Harry Potter's defeat of You-Know-Who was Black's downfall as well.

And the Azkaban guards heard Black muttering in his sleep, "He's at Hogwarts Because on top of it all, there may be a traitor in their midst. The Illustrated World of Tolkien. The Illustrated World of Tolkien gathers together artworks and essays from expert illustrators, painters and Murder on the orient express. The Hobbit. A great modern classic and the prelude to The Lord of the Rings. He was just about to step out on to the floor when he caught a sudden thin and piercing ray of red from under He was just about to step out on to the floor when he caught a sudden thin and piercing ray of red from under the drooping lid of Smaugs left eye.

He was only pretending to sleep! He was watching the tunnel entrance Fahrenheit Jay Gatsby is a self-made man famed for his decadent champagne-drenched parties. Despite being surrounded by Long Island's bright and beautiful, he longs only for Daisy Buchanan. In shimmering prose, Fitzgerald shows Gatsby pursue his dream to its tragic In shimmering prose, Fitzgerald shows Gatsby pursue his dream to its tragic conclusion.

Nice girls don t get black aid piece

WHY MEN CAN'T RESPECT NICE GIRLS

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